The challenge is to write a flash fiction in 200 words or less beginning with “Shadows crept across the wall.” There was extra credit to include the word orange, end with “everything faded”, and to use exactly 200 words.
Here’s my story!
Shadow Ghosts by Claire L. Fishback (c) 2012
Shadows crept across the wall. The same shadows I’ve seen every night since we moved into this old dump of a house. I haven’t slept for a week.
In the beginning, I tried to convince myself they were nothing. A trick of the eyes in the silent blackness filling my room. I closed my eyes, and knew better, for I no longer see the shadows slipping along the wall and disappearing into the dark corners of the room. Instead, I see the shadows’ faces.
The female frightens me the most. She has a round, purple face. It’s as if she’s held her breath far too long and her skin craves the oxygen she denies herself. Her hair is a mess of greasy tangles. Her eyes are bloodshot. I can smell her, too. That hot, oily smell a terminally ill person exudes. Sweat and inner decay.
The male has an orange moustache. The way he looks at me forces my eyes to stay open.
I watch their shadows drift across the wall and I wonder if I’ll ever get some sleep. I close my eyes.
The female holds a knife above me.
The male licks his lips.
Ooo very freaky!! Suspenseful too! I wish I knew what happened next!! Great job!!
I'm entry #19
Tara Tyler says
creepy! gripping fear! wonder what happens!
nice job =)
Lady Gwen says
Very creepy! Great job. Also, I loved playing with your fish:)
Loved "The female frightens me the most," and everything about that female. I enjoyed reading this.
Whoa! Very well done! I'm entry 2.
Sabrina A. Fish says
Great scene. Creepy.
Yikes that was freaky! Great entry!
Carrie Butler says
I flinched at the end! 🙂 Great job!
Stuart Nager says
Ghosts that do more than say boo…nice
Tale Spinning: Wednesday's Child
Daisy Carter says
Freaky! Love it!
David P. King says
Knife! *shiver* That was awesome! 🙂
Ann Cory says
Creative and atmospheric – well done 🙂
Whoa! That was really creepy!! Great job!
love this. You have some great images and a great progression! Love the ending, too.
Claire L. Fishback says
Thanks for the wonderful commente everyone!
Lori Ann Freeland says
Creepy, Claire. Very creepy. Voted for you 🙂
Ashley Nixon says
Gah. I'd move. You did a great job describing everything! The imagery was fantastic!
Kevin Hiatt says
Great read.. and I think I took the female on a blind date once, that smell thing sounds very familiar. 🙂 Really enjoyed the tone. Thanks for that. +1 follower.
Yeah, I wouldn't be sleeping either! Mine is # 71
Yikes! Super scary. Very nice.
Nick Wilford says
Nightmarish! Love the vivid imagery in this. My advice would be, move again ASAP – if she gets a chance to!
Traci Kenworth says
You got my vote.
Ooooo scary. Too freaky for me. Now I'm going to bed with your shadows in my mind. Shame on you. (hehehe) Sweet dreams, or Nightmares? Only I will know for sure. (muhaha)Great idea for your flash fiction. I like it.
By the way, you've been tagged. Check out http://www.kscollier1.blogspot.com for the questions. This is a way for fellow campaigners to get to know you better.
OMG, this a spooky one. Loved it! Awesme description of the purple lady, down to her smell of death. Good luck in the Challenge! (I'm #199)
I love your ghosts. So human, despite being dead.
Written Words says
Great way to personify the shadows.